Hitting the Books

Posted on Mon Oct 28th, 2024 @ 5:21am by Cadet Junior Grade Shafin Todenhöfer & Cadet Senior Grade Finn Walsh

1,941 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: The Cadet Cruise
Location: Sickbay

It had been a long and exhausting experience that Shafin had to endure with the Commodore’s version of the Kobayashi Maru test or whatever the heck that was supposed to be up on the Bridge. It had begun to edge closer towards unfair torment and bullying, and Shafin had more than enough of that. Bullies had been with him throughout his childhood years and though he had hated to admit it, he was not even free from them at Starfleet Academy. He was twenty-one Earth cycles old…years and more than a child. He was an adult, but officers treated him and the other cadets like kids for the most part, a few were better at not doing so than others. When it came to Daniel’s father though? The Commodore was practically a nightmare and a headache rolled into one. Of course, Cadet Weaver had Daddy issues “Father complex” he said aloud from the workstation in Sickbay that he was working at, correcting himself to be a bit more clinical in his thinking. How could he not? The simulation on the bridge had the Commodore’s fingermarks all over it. To decide to bring in Cardassians as the supposed antagonist of the simulation was one thing. Shafin could have even written that off a coincidence, but Daniel Weaver was half-Bajoran, and that simulation was fully designed with that in mind. He could not excuse nor chalk it up to a coincidence that the voice of Daniel’s grandfather was used in the simulation to provoke Daniel.

What bothered Shafin more was that after all of that, here he was now in Sickbay at a workstation trying to catch up on his medical studies. The whole bridge simulation was important, but Shafin was only there because the Commodore deemed it so orchestrating it like a puppeteer. I had no business being on that bridge thought Shafin, not as the pretend First Officer. “I should have been down here with the rest of the blue shirts that aren’t looking to be science officers” he muttered to himself at least he had thought he was quiet enough, and Sickbay had been mostly empty especially during the early hours of the ‘morning’ when a night shift had taken over.

"Ah but aren't we all of us 'blue shirts' scientists in some shape or form," Finn Walsh said. He looked up from the PaDD he had been studying and offered a smile. Medicine was a science after all, and even his minor in botany was studying flora and fauna that could help pave the way for antidotes, vaccines, or even cures. There was plenty of Irish lore of healers who did such things, and, in a way, he wanted to continue that tradition. "Also, a whisper in such a quiet place, isn't really a whisper at that point." He moved to where the other man was sitting and leaned against the console. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Shafin looked at Finn curiously. "If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that archaic expression" he said matching it with his own. "Well, I suppose I'd have a penny today to add to a very shallow pocket" added Shafin. "I don't like that I was chosen to be First Officer and participate in the bridge crew training. I'm meant to be down here with you and the others. It is where I can be the most useful. What use am I up there?"

Finn shrugged at the question. He didn't really know the third-year cadet that well, beyond some of the pleasantries that were exchanged in the corridor, lounge, or the crew mess hall. Shafin wore the same cadet uniform he wore, so clearly the other man belonged amongst the scientists of the crew, not being the acting XO on a cadet training mission. With that said, Finn really wasn't sure either way. "I suppose I can't answer that question, someone somewhere must have had a reason to do so." He also knew the bridge scenario seemed like a no-win situation, which bothered him on a lot of levels. Good thing the cadets talked amongst each other, otherwise, he wouldn't know the scuttlebutt around the ship.

"Though from what I could gather the scenario wasn't very fair to begin with, but I've learned not all tests seem to be very fair," Finn said. It was an eye opening experience to him to know that the game was not always fair. He certainly had to learn fast and work hard in order to be on the same playing field as others. Shafin on the other hand... well, he wasn't sure what the Vulcanoid had to endure. "I wish I had more answers for you."

Shafin sighed, but it was just exhaustion and not any sort of displeasure towards Finn. "Answers, Finn, answers are wonderful to have, but I understand that they can be sparse and elusive" noted Shafin. "Honestly, just talking about the bridge scenario with someone that wasn't there is actually rather helpful." The Vulcanoid shrugged.

"Maybe I've been letting Human nature overtake me too much and got myself swept up in the emotions of failure and being cheated" assessed Shafin. "Even if all that be true, and it was stacked lopsided against us, and it were a no-win scenario, maybe I can learn to just move on. Perhaps all this over thinking means I what I already knew of myself? I do not deserve to wear a red uniform. I would look awful in one anyways, and they make my skin itchy just looking at them" added Shafin though the uniforms were the same, just different colors.

Finn smiled at this, especially knowing all the uniforms Starfleet used were all made from the same synthetic blend. He then shrugged and spoke, "oh I don't know, I think you would look spiffy in command red." His smile broadened, touched the corners of his eyes. He stood there silent for a moment, and then decided to take up the more pressing issue. "I don't think you are letting your human side overtake you, besides, I've read your record, you might be Vulcanoid, but you are not Vulcan. No need to suppress emotions, let yourself feel them. Anger is normal, as is anxiety, and no matter what year we are as cadets, we all suffer from imposter syndrome. I bet even Daniel Weaver feels it, even if he doesn't tend to show it."

Shafin smiled just slightly yet noticeable at Finn's words. He had used 'Vulcanoid' appropriately, and not 'Vulcan' which made Shafin feel noticed. "You are one of the few people aboard to comprehend that and not take my good looks at face value" stated Shafin. "Weaver just lumps me into being a Vulcan. Admittedly, I play along. I have spent most of my academy years trying to be just Human, but when they see my ears, they expect Vulcan. So, I give them Vulcan."

"We are all imposters," added Shafin. "They cast us in these roles to do these simulations."

Finn hummed softly at that. "Maybe, maybe not," he said, his right shoulder lifted into a shrug. "But you know as well as I do, people make assumptions. You wouldn't believe the things people said about me when I first arrived at the Academy, but you know what, some of those people washed out and the ones didn't were not granted a prestigious cadet cruise such as this one." Finn placed a hand on Shafin's shoulder and gave the gentlest of squeezes. "I guess I have learned to let people think what they want, I know who I am and that is all that matters."

The gentle touch on his shoulder surprised Shafin, nearly startling him from where he was. He only let the hand rest there for a moment, hesitant to touch it. He opted to move, stand, and to put some space between him and Finn. "Who is that?" Shafin asked. He wanted to know. He genuinely was curious as to who Finn was from his own perspective.

"I don't know who I am half the time" admitted Shafin. "I come from very different cultures that seem at odds with one another at times" he explained.

Finn shrugged at the question. "Just a farm boy from a tightly knit, very old-fashioned community in Ireland. Though, my roots are important to me, and I have lost a lot... I am still very much proud of where I come from and where I am going." He offered a small, but genuine smile. "I don't come from a long line of Starfleet officers, I had to work twice as hard to catch up to my peers, but I'm here, and I earned it and though Starfleet doesn't fully define me, it still is going to be a very important part of me."

At that moment, Finn decided just to take a small step forward to close the gap between him and Shafin. "Who do you want to be, Shafin? Different cultures aside; if you dug down into your heart, what does it tell you?"

"It tells me that I want to help people" Shafin replied. That was at least something he knew was true. "It also tells me that I get sucked into the black hole of philosophy and theology" he confessed.

He shrugged. "I can read religious text for hours on end. That bores most people. Maybe I'm just boring?"

Shafin wasn't wrong, Finn knew philosophy and theology would bore most, it was not for the faint of heart. He briefly thought about the Bible he owned, his named engraved on the cover, given to him when he made his confirmation. He hadn't opened it in a few years, yet he brought it with him anywhere he went. It was currently tucked away in his quarters; he would remember to show it to Shafin at some point. "I don't think it makes you or anyone else boring for liking something. I find the quirks of a warp core boring, but K'tarra I'm sure loves every bit of it." He also knew medical texts that got down to the nitty gritty of anatomy would find it boring, or gross, but he found it all fascinating. People had their own likes and dislikes, that is what made them an individual.

Finn continued. "If you truly want to help people, if that is what your heart is telling you, I think you are on the right path."

"And I don't think you are boring," countered Shafin. "If anything, I think you are fascinating. I've spent too much time trying to hold my own against cognitively deficient minds like Cadet Weaver's" quipped the beanstalk of a cadet. "It's utterly exhausting."

Shafin breathed a small sigh of relief. "Earth religions," he prefaced. "What do you know about the Pentateuch and Quran?"

Finn wasn't sure if Weaver had a cognitively deficient mind, but he wasn't going to argue the point at the moment. Instead, he offered a slight nod, and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Tell you what, I know it is late, but I am off in about a half an hour. Let's grab a late dinner and I can tell you everything you want to know."

The Vulcanoid's eyes lit up with a flash, finding it intriguing. "I will join you for dinner and explore the depths of your theological content, but I must caution you...I have a reputation for being quite exhausting. I enjoy a good debate." Off went the two together to grab dinner.

 

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